Monday, June 17, 2013

Never Again: Flip Flops


I know I'm gonna get a lot of heat for this, but I guess my first new post needs to be something spicy.

Back in the day, once the summer came around, all I wore were flip flops. They were easy, didn't require socks, and could be slipped on or off at a moments notice. I was 16. At that time, my biggest concern was figuring out how many people I could cram into my two door '96 Honda Civic so that all my friends could go walk around the Southern Park Mall with me. Recently, I've been noticing flip flops everywhere, and realizing how not masculine they are. I don't know if its my obsession with shoes, but they're just very feminine to me all of a sudden, and this is coming from a person who wore a wine colored leopard patterned lightning bolt sleeveless shirt and leather pants to the mall the other day. The femininity of these "thong" sandals (Sisqo would be so proud) aren't the only negative of the flip flop. I've compiled a small list (as always, after the jump):

1.) No one wants to see your gross ass feet. When I was 16, my feet weren't that disgusting. Nowadays that is a completely different story. Don't act like yours are any better. Guys always have gross feet, they're veiny, hairy, and probably have calluses. Cover that shit up you sicko.

2.) They aren't functional. If you wear these things, answer me this: How many times have you hurt your toes while walking in flip flops? I used to stub my toe at least once a day when I wore these things. Unless you live on the beach and are walking on sand all day, you're bound to lose a toenail sooner or later.

3.) They make that annoying sound when you walk. Why do you think they're called flip flops? Flip, flop, flip, flop. The sound is fun for about five seconds, and then its just really, REALLY aggravating. 

Now that I've convinced you to throw way all of your flip flops, here are a few alternatives that I truly enjoy and are all closed toe:

1.) Vans. These shoes really help to step up your functional shoe game while still not being hideous "functional" shoes. They used to be worn only by skaters, but in recent years they've become extremely mainstream. Although I don't owe a pair of these, I'm constantly checking them out at the stores. Maybe I'll buy a pair one day.

2.) Slip-Ons. I have these red pair of Aldo slip-ons and I literally wear them every day. I mean like EVERY day. They're so easy and can be worn to the beach with a swim suit or to a graduation party with a pair of jeans or khakis.

3.) Sanuk Sandals/Shoes/Idk. If you look at the packaging on these beauties, they say that they are not shoes, but sandals. Regardless if you agree or not, I kinda like the look of them. I didn't always, but they've been coming out with a few patterns that I really enjoy. They're not my style at all and I probably would never buy them, but I've seen a lot of people rock them very well.

So ditch the flip flops, and cover up those toes, because without all that flip, flop, flip, flop racket we can all rest a little easier (and have all our toenails).